Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
