He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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