Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I am naked and annoyed.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
