do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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