And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
