so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
