we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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