Me too!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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