spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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