Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
