You can't motorboat a personality
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
