worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Dignity is for republicans.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
