no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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