I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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