so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just gargled with NyQuil
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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