Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
