she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
