check it out our google latitudes are spooning
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
