Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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