absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize