I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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