Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
