I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
