you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
