we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
