He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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