Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
