Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
