Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
