i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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