butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
