There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
