we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
