I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
