I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
