Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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