So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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