i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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