OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
