3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I could fuck to npr.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
