he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
