Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
