you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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