There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
