Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
