Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
