The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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