U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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