oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
