she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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