Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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