its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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