I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
