did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
