I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
