He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
