went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
