me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
