That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
