Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
