Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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