you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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