it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize