his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
