so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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