I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
