How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
