Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
