Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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