We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
