ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
